We had a hard time with our baby daughter. Every time we had to change her diaper her shouts of pain were heart rending. Those two and a half months my bay helplessly cried in pain felt like they would never end. Each time I changed her I prayed that somehow she would understand that I need to change her because if I didn’t the rashes would get even worse. She cried and I cried with her as I washed her up and prayed that G-d would send His salvation already and these rashes would end.
During these times the words of the verse would pop into my head: “Just as a father sometimes punishes his son, G-d punishes you.” I suddenly understood what punishment through love means. I would have this dialogue in my mind with my loving Father and confess there were times I felt that the pain was too great for me to bear. I would find myself angry at the pain and complaining why I had the pain at all.
Then it dawned on me; I sound just like my daughter who has no idea why she is in pain and I seem to be the cause of her affliction every time I clean her. But this cleaning is what will ultimately bring her healing from the rash.
Human nature wants life to be without pain, to live in comfort. Therefore when he doesn’t accept the fact that he’s in this world for a specific mission to fix something according to G-d’s commands, he feels pain, difficulty, confusion and a feeling of distance from G-d.
Our compassionate Father wants only good for us and He leads us with His Torah to pay attention at any given moment to the next steps we must take. “And G-d said at Mount Sinai…If you go with me in coldness and refuse to listen to me I will punish you sevenfold.”
These verses tell us that specifically because G-d loves us He doesn’t let us wallow in sin and He won’t give up on us and allow us to cause harm to our bodies or souls. He wants us to internalize that even when we don’t see it he is watching over us always. As we mentioned, the pain we experience is to bring us back to the straight path to come connect with Him even if we strayed far away. “Even in the countries of your enemies I won’t despise you or be disgusted with you…”
Our evil inclination is our biggest enemy that seeks to separate us from G-d. But if we come back specifically through the pain our hearts will open and we’ll realize we are like the “baby in his mother’s arms” that King David writes of in the Psalms. We too will be secure in G-d’s embrace.
