We often deal with stresses and pressures in our marriages. The problem is intensified when we do not know how to handle all this tension. It's like a snowball effect: if one word is said out of place, the arguments can get so heated that they may even cause us to temporarily disconnect.
So what are we to do? We must learn to interpret the intent of the spouse in a positive light! Don’t assume that he’s doing it on purpose, don’t start playing the blame game, rather, try to interpret it in a positive way – practice telling yourself the following: he has nothing against me, someone probably upset him at work, he’s stressed from his studies, or he just had a hard day.
Here’s a suggestion that everyone can implement and even succeed in achieving. You just need to pay close attention and exercise patience.
Sarah was a teacher at one of the best schools in the city. She began her day in the morning and finished in the afternoon. One morning, she woke up late and missed the bus. She arrived late to school and even before she walked into class the principal reprimanded her. That’s how her day began. The students immediately realized that their teacher is not at her best today and took advantage of the situation. In addition to what took place in the morning, Sarah had to deal with disciplinary problems in the classroom.
Somehow the day went by, she returned home to greet her children – cooking cleaning, doing laundry…two stressful hours had gone by. At 5:30PM she decided to clean the house. Towards the end of her cleaning, the doorbell rang – it was her husband standing in the doorway, she was waiting for a cynical reaction from him: “What are you doing cleaning in the middle of the day – is it Friday today?”
But he managed to surprise her; he looked down at his reflection on the clean and shiny floor, and said: “what a pleasure to walk into a clean and neat home – thank you so much, my dear wife”. Sarah smiled shyly. She felt her heart pounding and felt like she was infused with new energy.
In the evening, while sitting together with her husband, she told him all her experiences, the difficulties and pressures she had to endure during the day – and needless to say, her husband's smile upon entering the house reduced the pressure and allowed them to share a wonderful evening together.
So this is the suggestion: Smile – at all times. When the wife or husband leaves the house, smile at him or her. When you return from work, smile again. Ask each other for favors softly, with a smile – not aggressively G-d forbid. By doing so you will be able to create a pleasant atmosphere in the home, even the arguments and differences of opinion will be handled in a healthier way; with unity and harmony.
