Inspite of his young age Rabbi Isaac Lasry is a successful Rabbi of a congregation in Florida. In an exclusive Hidabroot interview he speaks of a position full of challenges, an important book he is authoring and the different situations a rabbi of an American congregation must deal with.
Rabbi Lasry’s days are crowded with activity. He’s only 30 but he’s already rabbi of a congregation in Florida, and in the middle of writing an important book; ‘The Guide to Rabbis of Congregations.’ Rabbi Lasry who is married and the father of four children, explains; “Many rabbis come from Israel to fulfill positions in American communities and they deal with problems much different than they would come across in Israel.”
“Do you want an example? Here’s one: A boy is born to someone in the congregation and the rabbi is invited to speak at this happy occasion. Two days before the Brit (circumcision) someone says ‘you should check if his wife is Jewish’. It sounds strange to me but I decided to check anyway. I asked the husband for a conversion certificate and it comes out that his wife had a conservative conversion”.
What do you do in such a situation?
“I was at a loss for a few reasons. Since the boy is not Jewish you can’t make the regular blessings of a circumcision. There are opinions that say such a couple should not be in the congregation, but that flies in face of my purpose in the congregation to bring close and not to distance. This is my responsibility as Rabbi and I’m supposed to know what to do in such a situation.”
How did you solve this problem? To my great fortune my wife comes from an illustrious rabbinic family, the Hafuta family. Her father and grandfather Rabbi Moshe Hafuta and Rabbi Abraham Hafuta are great sages who authored many Torah publications. They, together with Rabbi Zamir Cohen were my lifesavers in many situations when encountering questions of this sort. Eventually they told me to do the brit milah for conversion of the son.
Another situation, no less serious is when a Cohen marries a convert woman and every week fights to get called up to the Torah. As far as he’s concerned he’s correct; he wants to partake of this special mitzvah like the rest of his fellow Cohanim. But from a Jewish law perspective it’s very problematic. My father in law dealt with this question in a book he authored called “Siftei Daat”. He wrote how to permit it in order to prevent strife between congregants.”
“Thought, caution and sensitivity are paramount in this position. You must use great wisdom to get to the hearts of people and influence them in a way that brings them closer so that they will want to strive for more of their own volition. For example, a family would come to pray Friday night by car. What do you do in this situation? At times it’s better to wait for the right moment to broach the subject even if it seems you should not under any circumstances compromise. This method is tried and proven; the family that drove to synagogue one day decided to give up their creature comforts in their home far from synagogue and moved to a much smaller house so they could be next to the synagogue.
I couldn’t do it without my wife!
Rabbi Lasry grew up in the small town Hashmonaim near Kiryat Sefer, Modiin Illith. He learned in the Rabbinical Kollel of Rabbi Mordechai Eliahu and then proceeded to a special Rabbinical training program “Ner l’Elef” A light for a thousand, which trains rabbis for life in a community in the Diaspora. This program was indispensible because you get hands on training in the things a rabbi must deal with in those communities like Shechita (ritual slaughtering), kashrut, circumcision, mikva, the Jewish home and more.
After successfully passing his tests for rabbinical ordination, Rabbi Lasry decided to move to the diaspora. “But it wouldn’t have happened without my wife being behind it.” When asked if it was difficult for her to pick up and move to a strange land with a different language, culture and mentality, Rabbi Lasry answered: “to my great fortune, my wife grew up in a dynamic home. Her father Rabbi Moshe Hafuta was dean of a yeshiva and presently is a rabbi in Los Angeles. She spent her whole life in outreach, lectures and hospitality and this helps us to live the life we presently live. My wife is very involved in the community and she gives Torah classes and organizes many women’s events. Without her support I couldn’t do anything. It’s impossible to build what we’ve built together without mutual support and cooperation.”
With this cooperation anything is possible and in a very short time the community has changed dramatically. “We have a variety of activities for every age group,”explains Rabbi Lasry. “In conjunction with NCSY that works with Jewish college age youth, we organize trips, ‘kumzitzes’, skiing, and other things that appeal to college youth. The idea is to serve Judaism to them in their language, the language of enjoyment. For example, we're going to have a whole Shabbat in the mountains and on Sunday we’re going skiing. Everyone wants to be part of such a Shabbat, they know it’s going to be fun because the rabbi isn’t just some far away person they can’t relate to, he’s also a friend!”
I play guitar, sing, tell stories, laugh and join them for a basketball game. I listen to their troubles and I’m there for them for anything they need. This way they’re not only happy to hear what I’ve got to say, they’re also prepared to make changes in their lives! The language is the same, everyone wants to strengthen their spirituality and preserve their Jewish identity.”
“Why should I keep Shabbat if my dad doesn’t?”
“One of the difficulties is getting to the youth before college, as once they’re in college the risk of intermarriage is great. When someone is young you can “bang on the metal and shape it”. When the soul is still impressionable it’s easier to mold it and get it to follow you. The problem is when a child is raised disconnected. His parents don’t keep Shabbat and he doesn’t realize that every Jew should keep Shabbat- it’s the right thing to do. These children will rightfully ask me: “why should I keep Shabbat if my father doesn’t? Why shouldn’t I go all the way and eat non-kosher or marry someone not Jewish?”
“There are always questions and even someone born religious doesn’t always know what Shabbat is and why he keeps it! Today’s youth is very curious and asks a lot of questions. They don’t take things as self-understood. But when I explain what Jewish pride is and why we’re Jewish, what is the nation of Israel and what is our secret and our strength, then they understand how important it is to protect our unique character and to stay away from intermarriage like from a burning fire.”
But it’s more than that. Rabbi Lasry’s approach does most of the work. Accepting the other person and accepting differences unconditionally. Every person from every walk of life wants to be accepted for who he is. It doesn’t matter if you’re a doctor or a rabbi or anyone else, you don’t want to be talked down to. Rabbi Lasry explains: “The difference between being a rabbi in Israel and in America is the type of relationship you have with your community. Here, you are not only the person’s rabbi; you are also his friend, psychologist, brother and financial advisor. They involve you in their personal lives; seek your advice on financial matters, education, marital relationships and more. You cry with them, laugh with them, share your problems with them and live with them through every meaningful experience.”
“When you go through things together it doesn’t matter what type of clothing you’re wearing, where you came from and how your house looks.
In this position you learn to accept and to include each person completely. If you receive someone in this fashion he thrives and feels an integral part of the Jewish Nation. This is my motto; to show every Jew his personal path to G-d. Every Jew has such a path and with a bit of empathy and love everyone can find his part in Torah and the feeling of belonging to the Nation of Israel.”
Rabbi Lasry’s activities with Jewish American youth include spending days and nights giving Torah lectures on many different topics which he uploads to his website. He already has thousands of followers and admirers from around the world.
“In light of your young age, you have many accomplishments. How do you explain that?”
“It’s all divine assistance from above” Rabbi Lasry answers without hesitating. “I felt this from the outset, from learning in Kollel, during the
difficult ordination tests and now too. It’s not easy to find a community you can connect with and there's no guarantee that community members will look at you favorably. But when G-d desires it, everything is possible! You just have to make your effort and give it your best shot.”
As a community rabbi, how do you define “giving it your best shot”?
“I can only speak for myself. My motto is not just to have a title or a position. A community rabbi can easily sink to a place where his actions are the opposite of “for the sake of heaven”; he can worship money, honor or other things. In such a place there will be no true divine assistance so that is not what brought me here! It is very important to me to find a way to every person’s heart and do things for the sake of heaven and not for honor and fame. On one hand I’m very scrupulous in keeping Jewish law. On the other hand, and I thank G-d for this, I know when to look the other way. You need that sometimes too.”
Rabbi Lasry's website is www.haravlasry.com and for inquiries he can be emailed at [email protected]
